


Mune no Melody

by Midori_Hime



Category: Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02
Genre: Based off a song, Drama, F/M, Romance, Sequel, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-11-22 15:25:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/611310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midori_Hime/pseuds/Midori_Hime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Hikari likes Yamato, and Yamato likes Hikari, but both know a happily ever after won't simply appear. The Light refuses to take a path that will dim her own friend's lights and the bearer of Friendship refuses to hurt his friends. In the midst of a love triangle and an over-protective older brother, will love get its chance?<br/>Sequel to "Like a Broken Record". <br/>Mune no Melody; Literally "Heart's Melody"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - Hello Brand New Love

**Author's Note:**

> Hikari is 15 (birthday Jan 16) and Yamato has just turned 18. Therefore this is set sometime after April 11 (his birthday) and we'll say it's been about two months since 'Like a Broken Record'. In Japan, the age of consent is 12 if you're in a relationship and 16 or 18 otherwise. So there isn't any underage situations!

Like all good love stories, this story started off with our couple knowing each other. Whether they knew of the other for a minute, a day, a year or a lifetime didn't matter. They knew each other and life continued. Things were peacefully until the fire was lit.

A smile, the touch of their hands, a bit less space between them than usual was the fire starter. It was like a fire cracker, lighting up the night sky. It brought joy and excitement and there was a bit of danger involved as well.

Hikari Yagami had been annoyingly head-over-heels in love with Yamato Ishida since he and Sora had broken up. That was two years ago now. The light of the Chosen Children was more than happy to stay silent about her love. How could she go through with decision that would hurt so many when her role was to heal? She couldn't bring herself to do it, no matter how happy being with the blonde would make her.

Having just turned eighteen, Yamato was ready to throw out the feelings he felt for Hikari. He'd seen and partaken in enough conflict in his life already and he wasn't going to drag his brother and best friend into trouble more than he was worth. Hikari's sensitivity, caring attitude and the way he was just  _Yamato_  around her (as he was with any of the other Chosen) rather than some music idol had made him see her in a different light about a year ago.

As with all love stories, it isn't real unless it hurts. Overcoming the struggles is only one part of the battle; once reaching each other, the couple has to fight to stay together. Love,  _true love_ , is always worth fighting for. So here we begin our tale of a boy and a girl, hoping and praying and fighting and giving in, but most of all, loving.

_Hello, Hello, Hello, Brand New Love~!_


	2. Angel In The Night

The sound, the lights, the people were gathered in one of the many community halls Odaiba was host to. The Teenage Wolves were the stars of the night and it was no wonder why. Four brilliantly talented young musicians who were more than just attractive. But Yutaka, Akira and Takashi had all resigned themselves to placing second in their fans eyes. Yamato Ishida was the alpha wolf, the one with the drive, the ambition, the idea for the band in the first place. His voice resonated through the hall and the crowd sung along, completely out of tune but enjoying themselves nonetheless.

" _You are my light in the dark  
_ _You are the beat in my heart  
_ _But that is not enough  
_ _Will I ever be by your side?"_

Holidays had just started, so the boys had decided to kick it off with a bang. Their concert was the 'it place' right now and tickets had sold faster than you could tell Chibi-Veemon to stop stuffing his face. The rest of the Chosen had gotten seats without a problem (the perks of being friends with the lead singer also meant they could arrive with Yamato a couple of hours before the show had started) and were currently enjoying the festivities from the back of the hall.

"Isn't this so much fun?" Ken had missed the early days of the band, which had been much more intimate but just as crazy, but remembering those days, Hikari just laughed and nodded in agreement. The genius was sitting next to Koushiro who was attempting to have a discussion with Mimi.

"It's too loud in here and you're too quiet! I'm gonna go dance~!" Hikari laughed more at the pinkette's attitude and cooed a bit when she gave Koushiro a kiss on the cheek before leaving their table. Apart from the noise being too loud for conversation, they were also ridiculously squashed at their table, so the brunette couldn't blame the girl for leaving.

Despite the discomfort, she wasn't going to move. From her spot, she had a perfect view of the stage and the music, while blaringly loud, wasn't right in her ears. She may be biased considering how long she had known the blonde, but Yamato was a captivating performer. Or maybe that was less bias and more due to the fact she'd been crushing on him for years. Miyako knew of course - there was nothing that escaped her notice after all and Hikari didn't feel like she was the best at keeping secrets. But so far this one had managed to slip by relatively unnoticed, especially by those who it would hurt the most.

Currently, Takeru, the ever loyal (and occasionally embarrassing) brother, was yelling out lyrics with Mimi at the front of the group. The two were receiving odds looks for waving their digivices around (like others were doing with glowsticks) but they really couldn't have cared. Daisuke and Miyako joined them after bringing drinks back to the large group. It was a day to celebrate after all. Jyou had graduated and due to more school work in the higher levels, the Chosen didn't have as much time to spend with each other as they had once had. This was the first time since New Years Eve that they had been altogether. Why waste the opportunity doing something boring?

" _You are my light in the dark  
_ _You are the beat in my heart  
_ _Let me hold you now  
_ _Just like days before you started to cry"_

Tai could do nothing but call Yamato a schmooze and tease his friend, safe in the knowledge the blonde couldn't even see him, let alone snap back at him. Sora, despite their breakup, defended Yamato and told Tai to stop being a prat, leading to a cute little spat between them. More good natured humour was shared between the Chosen and was lost on the various people that came to sit with them, not being privy to their jokes.

Toward the end of the night, Hikari had slowed down laughing. It didn't happen often, but sometimes she'd get incredibly mad at Tai and Sora. It wasn't their fault. They hadn't meant to fall in love with each other and betray Yamato. Still, that didn't stop them from going behind his back while Sora was still with the singer and breaking his heart even further. Sighing, Hikari decided to go to the bathroom. She had to get away from them.

It was stupid, getting mad over something that had happened two years ago, but Yamato was more than just her friend... In her heart, at least. Miyako had said she was jealous when they were having lunch once. Hikari had been so stunned she'd knocked her drink over. The energetic girl had simply ignored her and kept on explaining her theory. As much as she hated to admit it, the older girl had a really good point.

Tai and Sora had snuck around behind everyone's backs. After people had made sure Yamato was okay with the situation, the whole scandal was forgotten and the two were just a normal couple. Miyako had pointed out that, if Yamato felt the same way Hikari did and they actually hooked up, they wouldn't be able to do the same.

"See, you're his little brother's love interest and he's your brother's best friend. Daisuke looks up to him as well at the same time as having the hots for you. Yamato ain't gonna upset those who look up to him and Taichi will murder anyone who even looks at you. He's supposed to be able to trust his best friend, but like that moron Daisuke, Tai's  _way_  too stubborn and hot-headed! He won't see it as a good thing, but rather a betrayal. Boys are so stupid, don't you think? But Ken-kun..~"

Hikari had basically burst into tears at that moment so Miyako had to ditch cooing about Ken and come up with an arguement for how Tai could possibly trust his best friend. It was going pretty well until Takeru was dragged back into it and the whole arguement lost its merit. But after so long, Hikari had resigned herself to watching from afar. Yamato was everything and all she wanted, but it wasn't practical; he wasn't  _safe._ Perhaps in another lifetime. Returning to the table, she put on a smile and laughed and sung along with everyone, losing herself in the moment.

By the end of the concert, the group were still in a good mood and casually waited at the back door. Naturally, the group of devoted fans waiting for their idols started screaming and cheering as soon as the boy band exited into the warm spring night, all smiles and politeness. Taichi, Daisuke and Takeru couldn't help themselves and had to join in, much to Hikari and Yamato's embarrassment. Jun, being in the front row of the loyal fans, simply glared at Daisuke and hissed a threat or two, making him laugh and run off.

"You're too much of a hag for Yamato-senpai to be interested anyway!" Seething, Jun gave Yamato a carefully wrapped gift and a kiss on the cheek before running after Daisuke. Ken was glared at for trying to protect Iori's ears from the obscenities while Mimi encouraged the older girl on with just as many threats towards the new Chosen leader.

" _I don't know what I'm gonna do  
_ _But I'm so crazy about you  
_ _Even if I don't know where to start  
_ _Even if my love is tearing me apart  
_ _I just know that you and me  
_ _We were always meant to be"_

"Don't you ever get sick of all those girls?" Yamato rolled his eyes and sipped his drink.  
"Not really. They're the proof we're doing something right, after all."

"And you get presents!" Daisuke had politely offered to carry the gifts the blue-eyed blonde had received, though nobody was fooled into thinking he wasn't going to look through all the parcels when he thought nobody was looking.

"Mm, yeah. Some of them are really cool. When I was in America, I got a mosaic tile as well as a new watch which didn't look cheap either. Food is common too, but I usually give it to Akira to make sure there isn't anything funky with it. Winter always brings scarves and gloves too."

"Photos and numbers?" Miyako whacked the younger goggle boy over the head while Takeru helpfully (or unhelpfully if you were Yamato) pointed out they were received all the time and were kept in a box. Yamato, incredibly flustered, tried to explain that they only kept the numbers of those who were in their fan club. They sent out personalised cards or phone messages for birthdays as well as a standard one for the Christmas/New Year holidays.

By one in the morning, they were crawling into bed. Yamato's father was working in Tokyo for a few days so he had the room to spare (and no annoying father 'kindly' waking them up before sunrise was also a bonus). Takeru and Daisuke had instantly tried to sleep next to Hikari, but Taichi had shooed them away without thinking.

"Nuh-uh kiddos! Don't even go there!" Protesting that they were just being friendly, Tai told them they could shove that 'friendliness' where the sun don't shine. Dragging them away from his sister, Tai placed his sleeping bag on her right and dragged Yamato (already in his blue sleeping bag) to her left. The blonde's head hit the floor with a thump and he stared at Hikari wide eyed.

Hoping the others would mistake her blush for anger, the brunette picked up her stuff and squeezed herself between Miyako and Mimi. "Wasn't Yamato supposed to be the one with the sibling complex?" Thankfully her crush laughed along with everyone else though Hikari still did feel bad about teasing him for something he never did intentionally.

"Look, nobody is good enough for my baby sister, fact of life. Specially not these two geeks!" More laughter, but Hikari glared at her brother. He was being so rude! Who was he to tell her who she could be with? And to make fun of those who did like her and say they weren't good enough? Who did he think he was!

Unknown to her, Yamato had looked awkward and shifted in his sleeping bag. When Tai laid down, the talk between the two was stiff, forced. Being incredibly skilled at multitasking, Mimi nodded in all the right places and put in her two cents every now and again, all while observing the singer.  _'My my, isn't this interesting? I wonder if Miyako knows our lone wolf is trying to figure out if he's good enough for the light? By the almighty brother's standards at least. I'll have to keep an eye on this one!'_

" _You're my Angel In The Night"_


	3. The Story You Don't Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prologue's song: Hello Brand New Love from Tokyo Mew Mew  
> First chapter's song: Angel In The Night by Basshunter?  
> This chapter's song: Kimi no Shiranai Monogatari by supercell

It was early on a Saturday morning when Hikari opened the door. "Mimi? What's up?"

The girl was already barging in, kicking off her heels and dragging the brunette back to her room by the time she'd finished speaking. "You and I need to talk, Hikari-chan~!" Hikari managed to settle Mimi in the lounge, allowed a brief amount of time to shower and have breakfast before being submitted to the pink haired girl's assault. By the time she returned to the girl, Mimi said her mother had gone shopping, her dad was out and Tai had already gone to soccer. They were alone and with the glint in Mimi's eyes, that was definately not a good thing.

"So, what's up?"  
"Yamato."  
"What about him? You got a crush?" She tried to laugh but her mouth felt dry and her heart felt like a piece of paper that was used a mock basketball.  
"Don't be stupid. You know I'm with Koushirou. You're the one with the crush." Hikari could only sit, stunned. Maybe it shouldn't have been so surprising. She knew she was horrid at keeping secrets, and if Miyako knew, she could have easily told Mimi. Or Mimi could have figured it out herself - she always did have a keen nose for relationships.

"And so what if I do?" Keeping calm is what she'd do. She'd tell Mimi there was nothing she could do. Mimi would understand, she was purity after all.  
"Act on it, stupid! God, why are you and your brother so stubborn and stupid! Do you know how hard it is for me to put a plan in action when you're acting like that?"

Hanging her head, she wanted to cry. This was exactly what Miyako had said. This is exactly what she said to herself.  _Why? Too much pain and suffering. I don't want to follow in Tai's footsteps. I don't want to ruin everyone!_

Mimi seemed to understand her thoughts, even though she didn't voice them. Sighing she sat next to the younger girl, placing an arm around her shoulder. "Miya and I both know and we're here for you. Don't keep this bottled up inside. It's not healthy. What you need to do is be honest. And that means with yourself as well!" That last bit was said more sternly, but she lightened up as she continued.

"It was easy for Koushirou and I. Everyone thinks we're cute and perfect opposites. When he asked me out, I instantly said yes. But it wasn't that easy for him. He thought he wasn't good enough, y'know? That he'd get turned down and teased for wanting to date someone out of his league. That our friendship would be ruined. That I'd mock him and things would be awkward." She smiled a bit, lost in remembering everything he'd told her. "He made one of those lists. You know, the ones that have the good and bad stuff written on different sides of the page?" Hikari nodded, wondering where this was going.

"There was some good things, but there were more bad things apparently. Teenagers can be so stupid, y'know? Like, butt out and just let people be happy! But anyway, even though the bad outweighed the good, he'd been honest. Plus, there was one thing that outweighed everything else. And it's simple. Four letter word, begins with 'l', ends in 'ove'. I know you feel that towards Yamato, so give it a go, 'kay?"

And with that, the pink haired girl left, leaving Hikari to her own thoughts and feelings.

:.:

"If she knew, Tai, Takeru and Daisuke would know too. And I'd be dead. So no, she doesn't know." Koushirou sighed and gave Yamato a look that clearly said he was acting like a petulant child.  
"Take a chance. I know that's basic and not helpful, but that's all I can say." He continued on, ignoring the blonde's snort. "She's out of your league, you say? She deserves better? She'll reject you? How do you think I felt with Mimi? She's all that and a bag of computer chips but she still said yes. Even if it didn't work out, we'd still have our..?"

"Friendship. Yeah yeah. That doesn't stop me from being murdered and not being good enough."  
"You don't need to be good enough. You just need to be there and care. Various quotes that I've found to support this say that your love should be your best friend. Friendship is your thing, Yamato! If she's worth it, you'll take that chance. If what you feel is really love, you'll take on any challenge and give it your all!"  
Sitting up and really looking at his friend, Yamato was stunned to see the usually quiet boy so passionate.  _He's really changed a lot from being with Mimi_.

"Say I do confess and say she does accept. If we're honest to everyone, we won't last. Taichi will get nasty, Takeru will be destroyed and Daisuke will be lost. How does that work, Koushirou? How is that in everyone's best interests?"  
"It isn't. But love is war, is it not? Who cares about everyone else? Be selfish for once, Yamato. I'm sure Hikari needs to do the same." Seeing the older boy wasn't convinced, he tried once more. "It might just have to be the story that nobody else knows."

With the click of a door, Yamato was alone, left to think. The story nobody knows? To go around everyone's backs, like Taichi and Sora? But if he was happy... Hikari wouldn't do that anyway! ..Would she? But maybe... Maybe it didn't need to be like that. They were both single so they weren't cheating. It wasn't exactly the same situation. They could always say they didn't want the press to find out. That wouldn't be a complete lie either. Hikari would easily be harassed by the media and annoying fanbrats...

Sighing, the vocalist sat up, heading to his desk. Apparently some more emotional and head clearing lyrics were needed.


	4. Things I'll Never Say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things I'll Never Say - Avril Lavigne  
> Realised I stuffed up the end of the first part, perspective wise, but I really don't have time to change it. Ugh.

I knew Tai knew something was up. I could never keep anything from him. The fact that I'm tugging at my hair and pulling at my clothes doesn't help. It was hot but it wasn't hot enough to be fidgeting like I was! Ugh, why'd he have to be so difficult? Like always, he started innocently enough and then said something so out of the blue I was completely thrown off guard! I'm trying to keep my cool and I know it shows. Why'd he have to do this  _now_? Why couldn't he have done this when I was with Sora, rather than pining after his sister?

"Yaaaaaamaaatooooooooo! Tell me already! What type of girl do you like? Tell me, tell me!"  
"I just said I didn't know, didn't I?" I couldn't help snapping at him. It's not like I could say "Your sisters pretty fine". I didn't feel like going to school with a black eye and my limbs in plaster because of Taichi's temper.  
"You must have  _some_  type of idea!"  
"Why does it matter? And you don't seem to have a stable type either!"

The brunette started babbling about the similar features he had found in all of his girlfriends or girls he had liked along the line. A pretty smile, sporty type, not afraid to speak her mind... He's my friend and all, but he talks way too much. He knows I tune out all the time. Apart from the whole Hikari factor, this isn't exactly a comfortable talk considering he's dating my ex and has been since before she dumped me.

Usually, I'm fine with it. I can smile and act normal when we're all just friends. Sora and Taichi are more compatible and have more in common. I think I relied on Sora too much maybe. I don't know why she choose him and I don't care. I don't mind being with them, until they start acting cute. That still cuts me up. I still haven't fully forgiven them. They knew better and they knew my feelings for her were real. I guess I wish they'd just been more honest with me. Takeru had caught me out once - I'd written a song about it. I'd chucked it on the floor because I wasn't happy with how it sounded, but even if I had been, I wouldn't have performed it; the feelings were still too raw then. When I see them acting all lovey-dovey, I stare at my feet, or people watch, or read signs or  _anything_. To this day, I still don't know the full details. I know they were dating behind my back and I'm pretty sure Taichi was the one who convinced her to drop me, but I don't know how long it went on or any other details. I guess ignorance is bliss, huh?

"YAMATO!"  
"What?!"  
"Well? Are you going to tell me?!"

I groaned; this is not how I wanted to spend my weekend! It was supposed to be relaxing and filled with lounging around and neglecting homework and annoying my neighbours by playing my guitar all night. But whenever Taichi starts something, he will finish it, whether it's a smart idea or not and whether whoever he's harassing wants him to or not. I put my head back and pretended to think. I didn't want to lie to him - the truth always came out in the end. But I couldn't be straight up honest with him either. When I spoke, I was cautious and slow, testing each word before I set it free.

"I guess... She needs to be able to handle my schedule with the band and not be pushy... It wouldn't hurt if she was pretty or smart, but not model-like or anything... I'd like a girl who's really kind and would get along with my friends... Ummm, perhaps someone who I've known for a while and could put up with my moods-"

That sent him into a right fit of laughter. I was irritated - I'd been honest and been relatively patient with his constant harassment for the last hour and here he was being a jerk. Whatever. At least I didn't have to deal with this stupid awkward question anymore. He kept laughing so I stood up, ready to leave. I don't need more of his shit.

He stopped instantly and I was almost to the lounge room before he spoke. "I didn't mean it... I just feel guilty. I took Sora away from you and I feel bad you're alone now." My fists clenched and my cheeks are turning red. There is no way he is doing this  _now_. "We've never talked about it and I'm really sorry for the whole thing. I wanted to get all of this out in the open, Yamato." Somehow he'd snuck up behind me while he was speaking and had placed his hand on my shoulder.

 _Just go away. I can't do this right now. Drop it Tai._ He kept talking, telling me he'd fallen for her before I had asked her out. He said he encouraged me to ask her out because he knew he'd been too slow.  _Why encourage me to steal her from behind my back later? Traitor._ She'd told him to piss off at first apparently, but he'd been persistent as always. He knew he shouldn't have pursued her  _(then you should have stopped before things got serious)_  but he hadn't thought she would agree.  _Like that makes it better?_  It wasn't until Tai started mentioning certain things that Yamato could piece together dates and events. It had been going on far too long - how could they do that to him?!

"You know what Tai? I'm really not interested in talking to you anymore!" He wrenched his shoulder from the boy's grip and started stomping off towards the door. Tai ran after him, trying to apologise, say he didn't mean it, but Yamato tuned it all out. He thought he had and he had seriously hoped it had only been his imagination when he heard the original leader say "I know how you must feel-".

"How I feel? You don't know anything! If you had, you and Sora wouldn't have gone behind my back like cowards!  _You're supposed to be my friend!_ " With that, the brunette stopped and Yamato was able to leave without being dragged back again.

:.:

It'd been a week since then. Tai had tried to apologise a few more times, but I hadn't wanted to speak with him. Everyone knew something was wrong. We were best friends supposedly. The minute something happened between us the whole school was on us like white on rice. Thankfully the moron was being quiet about it this time; I don't think he'd even told the rest of the Chosen. For the most part, I sat in the music room. I had spent the first half of the week listening to my iPod but had changed to pestering my band mates to extra practice sessions. Sitting by myself had left me open for questions and harassment. I could tell most people to leave me alone and they'd agree, affronted by my snappish attitude. A glare would get rid of most of the others.

But Sora was immune to all my tricks. I'd snapped at her constant pestering. I had tried my hardest, honest I had, but how do you politely tell your ex-girlfriend that you're mad with her boyfriend because he tried to apologise for going behind you're back? I'm pretty sure she'd left in tears (I think I might have told her I deserved more than their backstabbing acts but I can't really remember) and that stung. I didn't love her anymore, but she was still my friend; friends didn't act like that. But friends don't act like her and Tai did either...

Sighing, I leant my forehead on my hand, ignoring the maths teacher. He was a stupid teacher and it was stupid subject. It's not like I was going to get much done in a mood like this anyway. This whole situation... It was so exhausting... I don't want to deal with it anymore...

:.:

We were talking again. It was forced and awkward, but we were somewhat normal again. Neither Sora or Taichi had wanted an apology - they weren't going to get one either. Sora had been crying the other day; Mimi had comforted her and the holder of love had explained the situation. Mimi had come over on the weekend. She'd been ridiculously loud so I couldn't even ignore her.

"Sora and Taichi were wrong, Yamato, we all know that. We all know that they are sorry even though they suck at showing it and apologising properly. We also all know that you haven't healed yet. Miyako and I yelled at Tai for those stupid questions he was asking you."

"He was trying to do the right thing..."

"At the wrong time and in the wrong way. Mostly." Mostly? She smiled as though she knew what I was thinking - I had always thought Mimi's intuition was slightly creepy. "Love can heal wounds y'know." I raised a brow at her. I had an idea where she was going with this, but she could say it herself. Mimi was the one person you didn't want to give ideas; she was far more intuitive and creative than Taichi was.

While I thought I knew where she was heading, I wish she hadn't said it so bluntly! It was like she didn't care (and was that smugness too?) when she just casually blurted out that I liked Hikari. Coke was not a good drink to have come out your nose. Mimi's expression summed up that pretty well too. Coughing and spluttering I asked her how she knew while I was cleaning up the mess I'd made.

"You're obvious. Or maybe I'm just too good~!" I gave her a look that clearly told her that wasn't the case. Laughing, she continued. "You shift and act all nervous, which I think is super cute by the way, and you treat her like gold. Not that you don't treat the rest of us like that, but it's different. You're treating her as a  _girl_  rather than a  _friend_. You stumble over your words or just say nothing at all; you put your enigma mask on when we all know you've got plenty to say. Tailmon got your tongue?" Giggling at her own joke, I couldn't help but smile at that one. I mumbled and made noises occasionally as she continued telling me how much like a neon sign I was. "So how are you going to ask her?"

I wish I had something more intelligible than "Huh?"  
"You're gonna ask her out, right?" It was my turn to laugh.  
"And get murdered by Tai, Takeru and Daisuke? You serious, Mimi?"

It wasn't long after that when she left. She didn't often get angry, but she seemed ropable then. She told me I was a coward and this longing was just going to make me feel worse, both about Hikari and the whole Tai/Sora thing. The door shut behind her and sighing, I mumbled that she was right.

:.:

I had a folder full of uncompleted, unwanted and useless lyrics on my shelf. It was the same folder that contained songs that were too personal (you'd think I'd hide them in a different place, wouldn't you?). I placed the folder back up, after adding the new lyrics.

Ultimately, Mimi was right. I did often run from my problems and avoidance always made things worse. But at the same time, asking Hikari out wasn't going to be a walk in the park. I'm always nervous around her, trying to be so perfect. Not that I'm underestimating myself or anything, but I think she deserves better - I'm not exactly easy to handle and she can be pretty delicate at times. I'm rough around the edges and I have trouble interacting with others, even though I'm a million times better than when I went to summer camp all those years ago. But she's worth the best and I don't think that's me.

But, if I could say what I wanted to say, I'd tell her I cared and wanted to spend all my time with her. I'd give her my jacket when she forgot her own and I'd tease her for being forgetful. My dad teased me about marrying Sora, but I can see myself marrying Hikari a lot easier than I ever did with Sora. But what good is this?  _I wish, I want, I should, I could, Maybe if I..?_ There's not point unless I can say it. It's just a waste of time.

Hikari already has plenty to worry about anyway. What use are my thoughts and feelings that even I have a hard time reigning in to her? She's so much more composed and collected - not always, she's not perfect like Takeru and Daisuke seem to think. At least they can hint at it though. If I can't say it for real, I might as well be taking a step back.  _Why can't things be easier? Why can't I just say I care?_

Guess I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say...


	5. Ice Cream Syndrome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ice Cream Syndrome is by Sukima Switch and is an amazing song which I highly recommend. I found it by watching one of the more recent Japanese Pokemon movies and its really amazing.

Afternoon rays swept across his bedroom floor and the soft sounds of a guitar being strummed echoed through the almost empty apartment. All day he'd been absorbed in writing this song and he felt he was almost done. It was rare that he found he wrote a 'perfect' song, but when he did, he never showed them to anyone. They were the pieces he kept secret, containing messages, meanings and emotions far too personal or raw to have to  _explain_  their meaning in proper words to others.

Things hadn't changed since his talk with Mimi. He'd rehearsed a few lines, wondering how he could phrase things to Hikari without scaring her off, ways to convince her to keep it a secret, that it wouldn't be bad at all. Every time he did though he just felt like a rock had sunk to the pit of his stomach and he abandoned the idea all together.

As such, life continued on. As a group, the Chosen went to the zoo and he walked with Hikari for a bit. For various reasons, he'd been close to the brunette for so long and they could talk about anything without worries. Nothing had changed much since they were kids and she looked up to him, respectfully listening but giving her own opinion too. He kinda wanted those days back - things were so much simpler when you were a kid, right?

Somewhere along the line, Hikari had started acting like a posh lady (apparently it was some in joke or another), though her little act broke down with a few prods from the second generation of Chosen. He laughed with the rest of them, glad she wasn't one of those girls who put on airs, but rather one who stayed true to herself (unless she thought it was the best for those around her).

The sun was shining down and they stopped for drinks in a cute cafe at the bay before they all parted, going their seperate ways. Waving goodbye, the blonde wondered Hikari would ever react in any of the scenarios he had ever thought of, or if she would blow him out of the water by doing something completely different. Leaving his brother, he walked into the local conbini, grabbing some milk and snacks. Before checking out, a manga caught his eye. It was the one he and Tai used to read as kids.

If he and Hikari did go out, what would Tai do? Even if he were mad to begin with (which, as a friend and someone who tore up his old relationship, he had no right to be), would things get better?  _Could we laugh together like old times?_  Grabbing the book, he paid and left, still pondering his situation.

His father had been no help. He said he could either go for it, leave it, or find another girl as a distraction and left it at that. Yamato had a feeling he wanted to say more, but simply couldn't put it into words. The blonde had a feeling his father didn't want to give him advice that would lead his son into a similar situation as himself either, wanting to prevent that type of pain and fighting with someone you were once so close to. He wished his father could just say so though, rather than being standoffish or secretive. Hiroaki was the reason he had developed a similar attitude after all, wouldn't it be better if he were more open in order to try and get Yamato to be a more open person to? But he knew that was easier said than done. People couldn't just change over night; even if they wanted to, sometimes there just wasn't the time or courage to be able to do so.

Sighing, he picked up his guitar and started replaying his latest song, one he was sure would go straight to number one if The Wolves released it. But until the situation was resolved,  _Ice Cream Syndrome_  would remain his secret problem, one that would hopefully heal quickly and without hassle.

Laughing, her eyes flickered to him before looking away just as quickly. Stealing glances made her feel guilty; she figured that if she ever did go out with him she wouldn't feel this guilty - even if she did, at least she'd be happy at the same time. Courage wasn't her thing though, so going through with what felt like a huge decision was ridiculously frightening to her. If it had been someone else she liked, she would have gone to Sora, asking for help, but that option wasn't exactly appropriate either.

After all, she was the one who broke Yamato's heart (though hopefully he was over her by now - he might have to be smacked around a few times if he wasn't) but she was supposed to be both their friends too. As the holder of the crest of love, she should have been maybe been able to lead her to right path to take, but considering her paths had ended in awkward tension and fighting, her advice probably wasn't the best to take. Additionally, unlike Mimi or Miyako, she couldn't trust Sora to be secretive about the whole thing, since she was dating Tai. If she did tell the older girl about her feelings and they were relayed to Tai, she wouldn't begrudge her; after all, they were dating and you shouldn't keep secrets from who you're with (though she'd kept Tai a secret from Yamato, so maybe she could keep a secret...).

But that wasn't going to get her anywhere, was it? What she had to decide was how long this act would continue? If they were going to be  _anything_ , Yamato couldn't keep being the best friend. While she might say it was okay if they were apart, did she really mean that? He'd gone on tour last year and she'd fretted all month, unable to get him out of her head, emailing him constantly. Reality was always different to what you tried to make it, wasn't it?

Once, she joked about them being together. That had been when he was still happy with Sora, so nobody had taken her seriously, simply laughing at her. Had he thought it was a joke? Maybe he had thought she was merely infatuated - the younger sister longing after the brother's best friend was a common plot after all. Had he thought those words had simply rolled off her tongue without worry? In truth, she had just blurted them out, but the words had been prophetic. At least that's what she felt now. Back then, it was a joke, but now those words rung in her ears, as if forcing her to be...  _Something_.

She couldn't be spontaneous or truthful now. She had no idea what was stopping her really. Daisuke was probably just crushing, and Takeru, while he maybe liked her, kind of gave her mixed signals at times. If they really cared, along with Taichi, they'd leave her alone and be happy for them. But despite all the reasons she could list to tell herself to  _just go for it_ , the words she wanted to let out of her heart (" _I really want to be with you!_ ") just refused to reach her mouth.

The back of his shirt was damp with sweat as they sat, chatting and laughing over the day they'd just shared. This Yamato, the laughing, happy, gorgeous, smart, friendly, sensitive, idiotic, best friend, protector and  _so much more_  was the one she wanted to make her own. He may be the lone wolf band leader with a great voice and body to all his fangirls, and true, that was another side to him, and the brunette could accept that side too. She loved it as well, but she loved the rest of him too and wanted to make him know that.

But that was another thing she couldn't burn into her mind. Them being together, laughing and smiling together, holding hands under the table, pulling each other's hair, feeding each other and being cutely lovey-dovey and adorable, much like Mimi and Koushirou were being across the table. There really wasn't much else she wanted though (well, she could do without the hair pulling and the feeding each other to be honest; the complete adoration was something she longed for though).

Seperating at the train station, watching him and Takeru leave, the young woman thought that people weren't permanent. Maybe things would change in time and she would get her happy ending, even if it was just for a brief moment. Or maybe this was his permanent stage and maybe the Yamato she could see was what was really happening - him walking away, far away. Maybe he'd end up with someone else after all, simply fading from her life (with the way he and Taichi were constantly fighting now days, she wouldn't be surprised if that was the case).

With that thought, she felt her heart split in two. Taichi asked what was wrong (the annoying thing about older brother's was that they always seemed to know when your mood changed, but always seemed to want to fix it, despite what you wanted). The brunette simply shook her head slightly, looking up at the clear blue sky.  _It seemed to be mirroring my feelings_ , she thought vaguely, as a plane split the canvas in two. Walking home in the spring heat, she was reminded that it would be over soon; winter would soon settle in, leaving these holidays and days spent with friends far away.  _The season is already leaving._

She wondered if he felt the same way. What if he was feeling the same way right now? Did he feel just as powerless and confused, like an idiot with no strength or courage to do anything useful? Hikari both doubted and believed that at the same time. After all, he was older and held an air of maturity and strength around him, but he was also sensitive and cool enough to woo thousands of girls with hand writing melodies.  _I suppose it's just not something I'm supposed to know, is it?_

 _Even in this blurring world, you continue to remain perfectly clear._ He understood Hikari - she was like an open book after all, so it wasn't particularly difficult, but he didn't even feel that way with his brother sometimes. Maybe it was because they were so different, that they conflicted so often and argued occasionally. So perhaps it was a good thing he and Hikari were similar, at least in some ways. He never had to wonder if what he was saying was 'right' when he was around her (for that, he was incredibly thankful).

But, friendship was a tricky thing. He felt like he'd never be escape the various ties it had made. Escape? That wasn't something he wanted to do at all! Maybe just untangle them a bit, set them out clearly. Make it less of a maze, perhaps. But moving was hard. Making a step in the right direction... It really was all he wanted. Cowardice was all that was stopping him. But fate isn't something that waits. Nor is time - depending on how much longer he  _hmmed_  and dithered around, Hikari could end up with someone else.

He couldn't allow that to happen. Right now, he wanted to see her, despite only seeing her a few hours ago. Was that what they called love? Whatever it was, he didn't really care, it was true and that was all that mattered. He wanted to call her and he'd like to think he'd be serious and cool about it (though the blonde had a feeling his voice would be unsteady and nervous) and call her out to meet him. To be honest, face to face, no worries, just truthful - that was what he wanted.

Sitting up from his position sprawled on his bed, he made up his mind. The memory of Hikari today, smiling and laughing, walking next to him - it wasn't going to be a memory for much longer. He was going to make it a reality, something that happened far more often, something that, occasionally, would happen just because of him, just  _for_  him.

The feelings she left with him... It was like he could still her voice ringing in his ears, like she was right there, as though she were close enough for him to reach out to her. Every time they were together, things seemed brighter. So that was the reality he would make.

The only question left was when.


	6. Understanding

It wasn’t often that they, the Chosen Children, were all able to catch up so they usually took every opportunity to do so. Sometimes, those opportunities presented themselves in ways he’d usually say no to. Currently, Yamato was sitting outside, a party happening in the house behind him. Something about the soccer team? He honestly didn’t know or care. 

Taichi had invited him, trying to be friendly and remove the awkwardness between them. He’d said no a few times but eventually learned that Daisuke would be attending (and he’d more than likely drag Ken along, despite the fact he didn’t go to the same school) - Takeru would as well (perhaps it was a ball sport party?). To top it off, Hikari was going to interview some people and take pictures for the school paper as well as to be with her friends. Taichi didn’t think anything of him changing his mind, simply taking it as him given in to the brunette’s pestering as he usually did. 

Yamato had been inside for all of half an hour before he’d gotten annoyed and sat outside. It was hard to believe that some of the people in there were the same age as he was. He was thinking of bailing - he could always catch up with Hikari later and he didn’t want to keep sitting in the hot air looking like a grump. He stood up, taking his phone out of his pocket and started walking. Half way through his message to Taichi (“I’m not feeling so good, so I’m heading home”) he heard his name being called. 

Turning back around, he saw Hikari and Daisuke waving. Deleting what he’d written, he strolled back to where he’d been, only half paying attention as Daisuke blabbered away about soccer and how they’d won and how he was going to get better to beat Ken, rolling his eyes good naturedly at Hikari who stiffled a giggle. 

Two hours later and he was inside again. The party wasn’t as bad as he thought (though the music was definitely not to his taste) though he was still considering going home. He’d danced a bit and was dragged into a game of Twister, but he was starting to realise that things weren’t going to plan. When Hikari and he had danced, he felt his heart pound and his palms get clammy. But he also felt her tense and be awkward. Twister was much the same - she refused to look at him and laughter was forced. 

Eventually she came over to get a drink and they stood side by side in yet another awkward silence. One of her girlfriends came along and she chatted comfortably with her. A male classmate decided he was thirsty too and Hikari spoke to him happily enough (well, before the classmate decided he’d like to be more than that, to which Yamato called out to Taichi; Taichi was nowhere within hearing range, but the idiot ran off anyway). That, at least, got him a small smile. He decided to bite the bullet and go for it. 

“Hikari?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Why are you so tense tonight? I don’t want to be rude, but I’m getting weird vibes from you. We’re friends, right?”

She looked up at him, a slight frown on her face. In the end, she plastered the fakest grin he’d ever seen on her face and injected false happiness in her voice. “Of course we are! I’m just worried about a few other things, school and all, y’know?”

“Ah, I see. Let me know if I can help with anything, okay?”  
“Sure.”

She left to actually do her job while Yamato went to sit outside, feeling worse than he had before they’d spoken. With a sigh, he grumbled about how he should have just stayed home. 

. .  

Daisuke laughed with his friends, watching Yamato and Hikari part ways. Ditching the conversation, he went to the bathroom. Splashing water on his face, he tried to imagine the water going down the drain was the sadness he was feeling. For the longest time, he’d thought Takeru was his only rival but from watching the two of them, it was clear that Takeru was the least of his problems.

Daisuke couldn’t even feel glad that Yamato didn’t seem to be getting the desired results. _Hell, if Yamato can’t win her over, how could I?_ Daisuke wouldn’t give up, of course, but he wasn’t going to cause trouble - Yamato was his senpai and friend; he owed a lot to the blonde and honestly, he had a lot more going for him. Of course, ‘the heart wants what the heart wants’ or some bullshit like that, but Yamato had known her longer, knew her family, been through (more) life and death situations with her, was older and more mature, better looking and had all the other girls after him. He treated his girlfriends right (Daisuke had never had one but he knew he’d like to be as good of a boyfriend to any partner he would have as Yamato had been to Sora), he was pretty easy going, smart and the list could just go on. Daisuke wasn’t at the bottom of the pile or anything, but… Well, he wasn’t Yamato.

He wasn’t going to give up. That wasn't the Motomiya way to do things. But if Hikari decided she liked Yamato, he’d do his best to make sure his friends ended up happy. That was friendship, right? It was courage too - doing things that are hard, because its the right thing to do. 

Someone banged on the door, yelling at him to hurry up. He sighed and shook himself, forcing a smile. He’d made up his mind, but that didn’t mean it would be easy to go through with it. Opening the door, he laughed sheepishly, hoping that the pain in his chest wasn’t showing on his face. 

. . 

“You okay man?” Someone sat beside him and Yamato didn’t need the voice to tell him who it was - Taichi always sat closer than he needed to.  
“Haven’t been feeling that great tonight. I was going to leave earlier before Daisuke and Hikari dragged me in.”  
“I saw you looking-“

Taichi paused and Yamato could have swore his heart stopped. _Looking? At what? Where? Who?_ As he was getting more and more panicked, ready to start defending himself, Taichi sneezed loudly.

“Ugh, I hope I’m not getting a cold. What was I saying?” Yamato wanted to hit him. A sneeze?! He was panicked over a goddamn sneeze?! God, this whole love nonsense was going to kill him!

“Oh yeah! I saw you looking after her earlier. I’m glad I can count on you. Honestly, I’m an idiot and all, so I don’t know what I ever did to deserve a friend like you, Yamato.”

Annnnd now he just felt like scum. _You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew I was crushing on your sister._ He laughed, and pushed the topic in another direction. He liked Hikari but Taichi was his friend - they’d been through a lot together and while Taichi had screwed up, Yamato wanted to be friends with him again before he decided to approach Hikari, just in case Taichi thought it was a petty way of getting back at him or something stupid.

_Better to be safe than sorry, after all._

. . 

“He’s super reliable, you know?” Hikari excused herself from the lunch table - she thought about Yamato, his flaws, his good points, the way his hair shined under different lighting, and everything else enough as it was; she didn’t need to listen to Takeru brag about how amazing his brother was.

Sitting outside, she got out her phone. For the last twenty minutes of lunch, she tapped away on the small pink device, deleting, starting again, getting more and more frustrated. She tried her best not to cry as her fingers became more frantic, spilling out her feelings. 

_How do I tell him? But what of Takeru? Daisuke? Taichi? I wish I could go to Sora. Please help! I feel guilty about the entire thing. Does he even feel the same? What if he doesn’t? What if Sora still likes him? Mimi, I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to hurt everyone else, but I don’t want to hurt anymore either. I wish all of this would just go away._

By the end of the day, she had her response.  

_Hikari, stop it. You’re making a bigger deal out of this than you need to. The only way to get rid of this is to be honest with him. Tell him how you feel - I have quite the hunch that you’ll be received warmly. About everyone else? Screw them! Be happy, Hikari. Because if you can’t live happily, can you really live at all?_


	7. Pretty Boy

"I can't give you any more advice. Either tell him how you feel or shut up. Its harsh, but thats how it is. He isn't psychic, Hikari-chan."  
"But  _how_  do I say it? I can't just blurt it out!"

"Of course you can. People make love far too complex. If you love someone, tell them. It doesn't mean you'll get married or even have a nice relationship, hell, you might not even have a relationship at all. But at least you were honest. At least the other party knows where you stand. It will clear your head on the matter too."

"If you say so…"

"I do say so, so go do it and don't come back until you have!" With that, Hikari was shoved out of Mimi's apartment, left to ponder how to slay the problem at hand.

. .

Not two days later was she bedridden. Again, it was a minor illness that would have slowed normal people down, but nope, not her. Gotta kick her in the gut and then run her over with a truck. Takeru had been bringing over her school work, which she was slowly attempting to complete (one sheet every two hours… she might as well be going backwards…). He had basketball club today, so he'd be around tomorrow.

When had she fallen asleep? But still, this was a nice dream. Yamato had come to bring her her notes! He asked her how she was and she mumbled something dumb; even in her dreams she was sick! That was pretty sucky. For a while, she listened to him, hmming and nodding every now and again. Most of the words coming out of his mouth were blurred and jumbled, making no sense whatsoever, but he had a pretty mouth so where was the harm of letting him talk? He had pretty eyes too, for that matter. And hair…

"You're reallllly pretty, y'know?"

He blinked, a bit startled. Why? Ah! He isn't used to such a normal declaration. Silly dream-Yamato! Her eyes tried to follow his hand as it moved towards her, but she ended up making herself tired and making her headache worse. But his hand… it felt cool against her skin, soft and caring. Hikari could feel him brushing stray hairs away and sighed contently.

"You obviously aren't well. Takreu said he thought you were getting better. He obviously doesn't know what he's talking about." Why was dream-Yamato bitter? They hadn't made plans had they? Was she ruining something? Hikari forced an apology from her throat.

Yamato merely shook his head and smiled. "Go back to sleep, Hikari. I'll leave you to get your rest. Get better soon."

Sleep? She was already asleep! Did that mean he wanted her to wake up then? Whatever, dream-Yamato was weird. Yawning, she closed her eyes.

When she woke up that night, she didn't remember anyone visiting, only a vague dream of a blonde hair guitarist.

. .

"Its been a while, hasn't it?"  
"I guess so…" This was  _so_  not what he wanted to be doing right now! Sora had cornered him and decided she wanted to chat. Yeah, that was great and he wanted to be friends with her again, but… just not now!  
"How have you been?"  
"Good… What about you?" He  _hated_  small talk! You should either have something interesting to say or nothing at all.

"Confused."  
"Oh?"  
"I've been figuring some things out and I don't really know if I agree with it."  
"And?"  
"You have a crush on Hikari, don't you?"

Well  _shit._  Its not exactly like he was Mr Subtle with all the puppy looks he'd been giving her. "What makes you say that?"

"The last three outings we've had as a group, you've barely left her side. Whenever she comes back from seeing Takeru, you always seem to be mentioned. You were with her at the party the other night. Taichi said you were the first to visit; Takeru doesn't count, he had an obligation to do so. Its in your songs, your looks. I know you, Yamato. You can't hide from me."

He wasn't sure what it was about Sora's words exactly, but they irritated him. "Whoever said I was hiding? From you or anyone else? And really, I don't think you know me as well as you think you do, Sora. But back to the matter; you said you don't know if you agree. What exactly do you mean by that?" As he continued to speak, his tone has gotten harsher and his volume had risen, though he still wasn't shouting. He had turn to glare at his ex-girlfriend who was sporting a displeased look.

"What about Tai-"

"No. I'm sure you and Taichi weren't thinking 'what about Yamato?' when you were fooling around. She isn't in a relationship, and even if she was, I have every right to feel however I damn well please. Just because I have a crush doesn't mean I'm going to act on it. If you're only going to spout nonsense, I'm leaving."

"Yamato-!"

"Don't care!"

Childish, but it was true. It wasn't the smartest thing to do though. Sora was probably going to grumble about it and Taichi would eventually find out but what did it matter? He was an open book to all of his friends and he was honestly lucky to have gotten this far without getting 'caught'. What he said was true though - he was allowed to feel anything, good or bad or complicated. Whether he acted on those feelings was another thing entirely.

. .

Jun stared at her bedroom wall. In the centre, there was a black and white poster of Yamato. Next to it, a framed autograph.  _Jun, thanks for the support! Stay well, Yamato._ Sometimes, she imagined she could hear him call from the paper, the the photos winked at her as she passed them.

Daisuke had been off lately. She wasn't often the sister that was kind and caring, preferring to be almost brutally honest and a bit too rough, but even she could see how hurt he was. Finally, he realised others were seriously interested in Hikari and perhaps, he really didn't have a chance. She knew the feeling - she used to lie awake and pray Yamato would look her way. Daisuke's face was filled with longing for Hikari, right from the moment he realised girls didn't have cooties. Jun knew her face was home to the same look.

But they were Motomiya's! They didn't back away from a challenge! She encouraged Daisuke to talk to Hikari, to get the truth from her, rather than just figure things out for himself (because they were Motomiya's, sometimes they ignored facts in favour of their emotions…). It was probably the first time he'd taken her advice. And unfortunately, his heart got crushed in the process.

But it was mending. Hikari wasn't cruel or unkind. She was sympathetic (empathetic would probably be a better term, but the first still stood) and told Daisuke that their friendship honestly meant more than a boy (Jun -who certainly had not been eavesdropping from the hallway- had not been impressed with that; what friendship is worth more than Yamato's love?). They could still be friends. There was no hard feelings, just simple explanations and a lot of grit to eventually become accepting.

Jun smiled as she looked down at the posters and memorabilia, now on the floor.  _A lot of grit, huh? Thats something us Momtomiya's are good at!_  Daisuke wasn't the only one who had to move on. She messaged Yamato, wishing him good luck (in more ways than one), saying she'd still be there to support and help him, before joining her brother in devouring all the comfort foods their apartment had to offer.

. .

Valentine's Day was both the best and worst day ever. Having so many male friends, she had a lot of chocolate to make. Then she wondered how divide it; she wanted to make it clear Yamato's chocolate wasn't just  _giri-choco,_  but actual  _I maybe kinda really like you_  chocolate without being too obvious and hurting anyone else. Hikari was honestly at a loss; she'd never loved anyone like she loved Yamato. But she was learning. Hikari was becoming more confident around him, learning to start expressing herself more. Of course, it was still subtle, still in the baby steps stage, but she'd get there.  _But will I get there in time?_

. .

"Takeru, just don't."  
"If you've given up, why should I? It'd be rude not to repay her for the chocolates, too!"

Daisuke was torn. He knew about Hikari's affections. She'd been honest with him. But she hadn't told Takeru yet. Takeru was planning an elaborate White Day event; y'know, a restaurant, fancy gift, beach side walk and all that cheesy stuff. All of it for nothing. Hikari had trusted him not to say anything until she was ready. But Takeru was his friend too. Was it fair to let him put so much energy into this, something he's wanted for so long only to get crushed when the time came to cash in? Was it fair to let him hope?

Another week went by before he made his decision.  _Meet me after practice, at the bridge._ Confused, Takeru met him. "It isn't my business to say this, but I don't want either of you to get hurt. I don't want you to be embarrassed or hurt, or angry at me later for not telling you…"

Angry was almost an understatement. First the blonde was disbelieving, thinking it was a cruel joke, but his expression hardened when he realised Daisuke was telling the truth. He shouted at him, still calling foul, lie,  _you want her for yourself_ , before shoving him to the ground and running off. Daisuke picked himself up, wincing a little. _Please let me have made the right choice._

. .

The door opened with such a force that it hit the wall and started to close again. "Yamato!"  
"Takeru, be quiet, you'll disturb the neighbours!"  
"I don't care about your crappy neighbours! What the hell was with what Daisuke said?!"

Yamato sighed, shoulders tense and a weight in his stomach. Everyone was on his case lately!  _But better sooner than later, I suppose._  "I'd appreciate it if you did care a little more. And I have no idea what Daisuke said. Do explain."

"You. Like. Hikari." Saying each word seemed to hurt Takeru, and Yamato could only imagine knives going through the younger boy's heart. It hurt his own to know he was doing that. "Is it true? Is he bullshitting? Well?"

He stopped for a moment before sighing again. "He isn't."

The brothers stood in silence for a few moments. Yamato stared at the wall, his face almost annoyed.  _Because its so wrong for me to crush on someone when someone else is too, huh? Sorry, I'll just tell my heart to stop being so rude to everyone._ Takeru stared at him, shocked, stunned, confused, angry. His chest heaved and his hands clenched. Eventually, he turned and walked to the door.

Yamato followed. "Takeru, wait. C'mon, let's try and talk about this. Why do you think I haven't done anything? I respect you, kiddo-"

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. Takeru spun around and his fist met his brother's nose. Yamato fell to the floor as Takeru yelled over the top of him. "How could you!? Don't lie to me!"

"You're being ridiculous!' He couldn't help it, this was ridiculous. Everyone was getting pissed at him for now valid reason!

With that, the two brothers, once so close, ended up sprawling across the floor, knocking over a half dead plant. Yamato knew he would be bruised tomorrow - Takeru was letting out all his anger and frustration on him; hopefully, if he did that now, they could have a reasonable discussion soon. He wasn't as aggressive as Takeru and his hits were more to try and knock the boy off (or back into his senses) though neither seemed to happen.

Hiroaki returned to find one son bleeding, not bothering to get up from the floor, and the other running out in angry, betrayed tears. "Do I want to know?" Yamato grunted in response. "I'll go start dinner then."

His fans always said how pretty he was, how it was part of his appeal, how much they loved him for it. They wanted him to love them back, to be brought into his world, to stand by his side. Would they still think that way now? Crushing his brother's dreams, causing rifts between friends - just because of a crush? Is that the type of guy they idolised? Really, if thats the type of person he was, he really wasn't too pretty after all.


	8. Graduating

"You wanna go to the movies?  
"You wanna hang out?"  
"Come watch my soccer game!  
"Arcade then?"  
"Let's go to an all you can eat!"  
"Dude?"  
"How about the beach?"  
"Yamatooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"  
"YAMATO"  
"Yamato, seriously, answer my god damn messages!"

By the time the tenth message was sent, Taichi was concerned and annoyed. He didn't bother knocking, and let himself into Yamato's apartment as he usually did. He grabbed a soda out of the fridge before finding a moping blonde hogging up the couch.

"Dude." He got a grunt in response. "You aren't dead so why aren't you answering my messages." The brunette opened the drink and took a swig as the blonde looked up at him. He attempted to whistle but that didn't go too well with a mouthful of drink. Choking, he tried again and succeeded, only for Yamato roll his eyes at him.

"Who beat you up?"  
"Does it matter?"  
"Of course it does! I need to go beat him now!"  
Sighing, Yamato sat up and Taichi didn't waste time settling in the now free space. "The other guy was in the right. Sort of. Either way, I guess its sorted now."

"You sure?"  
"Yeah."  
"You don't seem sure, Yamato."  
"I am. But its more than the bruises that sting like a bitch."

Taichi, for all that he was loud and not the best at picking things up, knew Yamato. Yamato wasn't lying to him, but he certainly wasn't handing over the full truth. That was fine, they didn't live in each other's pockets, but still, Yamato wasn't weak. It took a lot to bring him down, heck, it took a lot to even get him to fight in the first place as he preferred to be rational and reasonable if he could.

"Well, I'm always here for you, you know that, right?" Yamato said he knew that but to Taichi, the mumble felt hollow and forced. The smile was tired and fake. He stayed at Yamato's for the rest of the day, playing video games, watching bad movies and ordering too much pizza for just two people. He stayed the night (well, they both fell asleep in the lounge after one bad horror movie too many) but even by then, he had no idea where Yamato was.

_I don't know whats up with you, buddy, and honestly, I don't know what I can do to help. I want to give you space and time to work things alone. Just let me know you're there, let me know if I can help. I'm here. Just come back soon._

. .

"You did the right thing, y'know?"  
"Taichi said Yamato got beat up."  
Jun looked away, frowning. "Well… I hate to bad mouth him, but if Takeru is going to get that violent over a girl he isn't with, to his brother, who probably explained the situation, he's a little shit."  
"I feel bad for Yamato."

"There isn't much you can do for him. He hasn't done anything because he thought that was the right thing. Maybe now Takeru has pushed him, he'll go for what he wants. If anything, you've made him see not everyone thinks the same, that others feel they are more entitled than he is. It may turn out to be a blessing."

They continued some dumb idol show on tv before he piped back up again. "He'll be going to university soon."  
"If he doesn't do anything, go after Hikari yourself."  
"Thats dumb."  
"Thats your forte, right?"  
"I hate you."

Jun smiled, kicking him lightly. "But seriously, you can't do anything. You can just be both of their friends. If they don't do anything, well, thats just how it is. Hikari knows your feelings. Maybe if she finds out about Takeru, she'll care less about him and come to you after giving up on Yamato."

"Thats wishful thinking."  
"Perhaps. Regardless, you need to stop worrying. You certainly aren't going to go blabbing to people now, are you?"  
"Nuh-uh. I don't want to have anyone else being beaten up on my conscious."  
"Is that all your worried over? Yamato let that happen. You should be more worried about Takeru blabbing and other people finding out."  
"Shit!"

Jun watch him storm off in a panic. "Just what does he think he's going to achieve this time? Idiot."

. .

_I'm tired. I'm tired of worrying and re-thinking. I'm sick. Sick of remember what Daisuke told me, how angry I felt, of remembering my first connecting to Yamato's face. I can't wish any harder for it to be a disgusting dream. I can't go back and changed what I did._

_But should I have to? Yamato knows how I felt. Yamato has always know._ I'm your big brother, you can't hide anything from me!  _Though apparently you were able to hide something from me, huh? That makes me sick. How often were you thinking of her, knowing that I wanted her too? Its unfair to say that. You're entitled to like whoever you damn well please. You're entitled to act on that too. But if we're such good brothers, so caring toward each other, shouldn't you have been honest with me?_

_I can't guarantee it, but I'm sure if I'd heard it straight from you, rather than some awkward spill out from Daisuke, I would have taken it better. At least you would have made an enough. You said you weren't going to go through with anything. Bullshit. Nobody would have known you're feelings if you were planning to keep them to yourself. Nobody knows your still furious at Sora and Taichi, still torn over our parent's divorce, over our aunt dying. Nobody except the pages of lyrics on your bedroom shelf._

_But you trust me. You don't care if I look through your most personal thoughts. You don't mind if I tease you or critique things lightly. But that trust obviously doesn't go both ways. Well, perhaps that isn't entirely fair. I always just assumed you were still hung up over Sora. Goes to show how oblivious I was. But you never bothered to correct me, to tell me that you love the same girl I do._

_Daisuke gave up on her because he can't handle the competition. You said you were staying out so I had a chance. Now I've smashed your pretty little face, will you feel the same, or will you try to spite me? Can I trust anything you've said? What about all that advice you gave me when I asked how to ask her out? Were you giving me bullshit advice, which is why I never got anywhere? Were you laughing the entire time behind me back waiting for me to be rejected or her not understand? Were you using me as your guinea pig, so every time I failed, you'd figure out a new way so eventually, when you got the balls to ask her out yourself, you knew what would work and what wouldn't?_

_Can I call you my brother anymore? At the moment, I'm not sure. All I know is that I love Hikari. I hate Daisuke for telling me. I think he's lying. He has to be. Certainly you wouldn't hurt me like this. Right Yamato? You wouldn't hurt me. But if Daisuke is telling the truth… He was being a friend, he wanted to help me gently… You, on the other hand, were secretive, manipulative perhaps. Its always about you, isn't it? Well, I'm certainly not going to lose to you again._

. .

"I'm proud of you, y'know?"  
"Miyako?"  
"For telling Takeru."  
"How the hell did you find out?"

"Asked Jun. I hate to say it, but you being mopey was weirding me out. She filled me in." Coming from Miyako that was practically a "I was so worried and concerned for you and I did all I could to find things out". Daisuke smiled at her. They were friends, of course, but they weren't often serious with each other. They never really spoke of their troubles, preferring to snipe and make jokes instead.

"Thanks for worrying."  
"You look like a kicked puppy, its a little disturbing, to be honest."  
He glared at her and muttered out a 'thanks'. She laughed, rubbing his head and speaking to him like he was a puppy as he played along with a growl. Becoming serious again, Miyako continued.

"When I found out which crests resonated with me, I had no idea how to deal with them. Love and sincerity? Really? You seemed to just fit in with yours, and honestly, I was really jealous. I think with what you've done, really reflects those values."

"I think I've just made a mess of things." He wasn't looking for more praise. Daisuke was honestly worried he'd screwed things over. "What if Hikari finds out? She told me not to say anything. What if Takeru never speaks to me again? What if he and Yamato don't speak again? What if-"

"Oi." Miyako wasn't the quietest of girls, but that one word got his attention. "You can't control what happens from now on. You made your choice and you need to deal with those consequences. But I think you chose right."

"In Harry Potter, Dumbledore says it take courage to stand up to your friends."  
"You're going with Harry Potter?"  
"Diss it and you'll be the one with bruises." He shifted away slightly, letting her continue in peace. "He's right. Its not easy to go up against those who you care for, those whose opinions you think highly of. Doubly so as you going against your friend may send ripples out to other friends, to your senpai, to siblings."

"You're making me feel worse."  
"I'm not here to make you feel better. I'm here to make you see you made the right choice."  
Daisuke snorted. "What about friendship then?"  
"If you're doubting your skills as a friend you're even more of a block head than I thought."  
"Oi!"

Sighing, Miyako looked up at the sky, watching it turn slowly from blue to orange. "There was the whole thing with Ken to start with. But in this case? Hikari is your friend. You know it would be uncomfortable for her to tell Takeru the truth. You tried to save her from that."

"And ruined other things in the process."  
"If you're going to keep being a pessimist, I'm outta here." The purple haired girl stood, clearly annoyed.  
"No!" She looked at him, not amused in the slightest. "I'm sorry alright. Stay a bit more?"

Huffing, she sat back down with a mumbled 'idiot'. "As I was  _saying_ , after you tried to make things easier for her, you tried to let Takeru down easily. You tried to make way for Hikari to tell her feelings to Yamato without her having to hurt anyone. You tried to make it easier for Yamato to give him a break. It's not that you failed, its that Takeru, to be blunt, went mental for no reason."

"He was hurt."  
"And yet I don't see you bashing him or Yamato up. I don't see either of you yelling at Hikari. If you're hurt, shouldn't you yell at her? She's known for ages you both like her. Well, its obvious to some of us at least. She knows your emotions, more than likely, yet says she likes someone else. Why get mad at Yamato, who clearly stayed out of the way? Who knew both of your emotions as well and stayed away because of that reason? It doesn't make sense."

"I never thought of it like that."  
"For some reason, Takeru just couldn't handle it. That isn't your fault. Yamato could have pummelled Takeru if he wanted to but that isn't him. And I don't think Takeru was being himself either, not that it excuses him in the slightest. But the point is, you tried to keep all your friends happy. You looked out for them, tried to protect them, make them happy. It took a lot of guts to do it."

"Do you think I did the right thing then?"  
"It needed to be done. I think, in the long run, you've saved a lot of people from a lot of heart break and hassle."  
"Or I've just caused it to come earlier."  
"Perhaps." She stood up and clapped his shoulder. "You can deal with it. I've got your back, in any case. Catch ya."

"Thanks, Miyako." She waved over her shoulder, not bothering to look back. He was thankful. He'd done enough crying lately, he didn't need anyone else to see it. This time, though, there was a difference. Underneath the tears, there was a smile. In his gut, while he didn't feel incredibly better, he felt like he was free of the weight of guilt and worry that had been burdening him. And that was a start, right?

. .

For a few weeks, nobody saw Taichi, Sora or Yamato. Final exams were coming up. Jyou was already at university while Koushirou and Mimi still had a year to go. The trio were mostly done and were going to graduate in the next two weeks. Of course, there were parties planned and holidays and celebrations and people had brought them gifts, but for now, it was time to be serious.

They studied every day, parents were snapped at when the 'mood' was disrupted and there were days when they woke up late and goofed around and by the end of it they were having a break down due to stress. Then the day of days came and they were shut in a room with an overly loud clock and people shifting in their seats and tapping pencils, disrupting thoughts. Papers shuffled and pencils scribbled furiously.

As quick as it came, it was over. It may be repeated for an exam or two, but the first hurdle was gone. Just like that, they were done. Just like that, they were graduating, listening to their boring principal drone on before accepting certificates. As soon as it was over, they were piling out the door, yelling and slapping each other on the backs, posing for photos and sobbing about their friends who would be leaving for university elsewhere or sobbing about their marks which would never allow them to go.

Once night fell, they were celebrating. Eighteen and free! Tonight was the last time they got to be free before attempting to become an adult. Now they had to find jobs, to study further, to get their head screwed on straight. But that wasn't tonight. Tonight was a celebration, not only of the past, but of the future, of the new path they would create. Sora, Taichi and Yamato were close. There was no Hikari or Takeru to talk about, to think about. Tonight, it was just them. It was like they'd never fought, like they had never been happier. And for that night, everything felt  _normal_.


	9. Discovering

Laughing, he picked his phone out of his pocket.  _Can we talk?_ Responding to Sora, he waved goodbye to his friends, and waited in the park for her. He could have stayed a little longer, but he'd rather be waiting for her. When she arrived, Taichi kissed her on the cheek. She listened, smiling and nodding, a bit vacantly, as he talked about soccer practice and how they were going to wipe the floor with the other team in his final match before he went off to university.

"But… you're not here to listen to me blab, are you?" He tried to make it a joke, but his worry was clear.  
She smiled slightly, though it didn't reach her eyes. "I don't want to tell you, but I don't want you to randomly find out either. Yamato found out in a bad way and he hasn't forgiven either of us…"

"Find out about what?"  
"It's honestly none of my business… But, well… you know how Yamato got beat up?"  
"You know who did it?"  
"Takeru did."  
"Bullshit!"

"Don't use that language around me, Tai." Rolling her eyes and he mumbled an apology, she continued. "Its true. He got upset because he found out Yamato's been crushing on Hikari."  
Taichi felt frozen. "What?"  
"You heard me Tai." Sora placed her hand on his elbow. "I bumped into him a while back, before Takeru knew. I asked him about it and he didn't deny it."  
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"  
"Because he was right. It's none of our business. We're certainly not in the right to lecture him about the correctness of a relationship, especially when he hasn't  _done_ anything."  
"Then why are you telling me now?"  
"Because it seems like you're the last to know, and if things are going to start getting messy, I'd rather you go in with a bit of background rather than barging in and causing more of a mess."

He nodded and attempted to follow Sora as she took the conversation elsewhere. She dragged him off to a cafe, obviously trying to keep his mind of the revelation, trying to prove things were still normal. Taichi felt bad that she was trying so hard when it clearly wasn't working. He felt odd and fuzzy, like his brain just wasn't connected right. The brunette tried to laugh and nod at the right moments and brought Sora flowers (as a surprise gift or an apologetic one, he wasn't quite sure) when he walked her home.

He didn't eat dinner that night, and was listless when watching tv and listening to his family chat. He didn't sleep either. Hikari came in to their room later, finished her homework and went to bed.  _It just feels weird._  Hikari, to him, was still a kid. She probably always would be. But Yamato was his best friend. He was someone he considered his brother, but say he and Hikari did end up together, say they ended up married - they really would be brothers then. It would make their bond stronger, in a way, but it also felt  _wrong._

 _Sora's right. I don't have any right in telling him off. I stole my best friend's girl. But I'm allowed to be protective of my sister, right? What I'm protecting her from, I have no clue. Yamato was a great boyfriend after all. He's a great friend and has saved all our arses more than once._ Sighing, he clenched his eyes shut and attempted to calm himself down. Yamato was on tour right now, having headed off the weak after graduation. He rarely responded to messages when he was gone, preferring to focus on his job.

The next morning, he still couldn't get his head around it. Takeru had been easier to understand. They'd grown up together and it was like some unspoken cliche of getting the girl next door, so to speak. Daisuke he understood as well, with the whole opposites attract and all. Maybe he was just blind, or maybe he could only handle so many people being into his sister at once, but he just couldn't see Yamato and Hikari working.

He sent Takeru a text.  _Sorry about what happened bud. I hope you're feeling okay. Let me know if you need anything. I'll always be here if you do._ Taichi stared at his phone. Had he just taken sides? His gut felt like it had a rock in it. He wished Sora had never told him anything, wished he'd found out on his own, wished things weren't _so damn weird and complicated._

. .

Hikari flicked her hair around, messing it up slightly. She'd gotten it cut the day before.  _By the time Yamato comes back, it should look a little less choppy. I wonder if he'll like it?_ After speaking to Mimi the other day, she'd decided to go for it. She was over crying and pitying herself. She needed just to go for it - the worst that could happen was to get her heart broken. But if that happened, she was free to move on and fall in love again. It's not like you only got one chance at love.

Lately, Taichi had been slightly weird though.  _Perhaps he's fighting with Sora?_ But that didn't seem to be it. If anything, she was trying to stop him from being so angry. He'd been budding up with Takeru a lot, which the blonde seemed to enjoy at the start, but had recently taken to pulling away with a slightly pained expression. Not to mention, Taichi had been awfully protective of the girls he knew. He'd interrogated Miyako on boyfriends to which she'd laughed hysterically and Mimi had just told him to butt out before she decked him.  _Maybe Yamato will sort him out?_  Hikari knew he wouldn't reply to her, being on tour and all, but at least he could ponder it while he was gone.

_I've got plans on how I want to tell him. I don't think I'll be able to get it out in the first go, but thats okay. I kinda imagine us being alone, me being the first to visit him after he comes home. Or maybe, I'd be in the rain. I saw a movie with Miyako the other day. There was a girl in it and she was really sad. Despite that, even when she cried she was gorgeous. I think, if I could have any vain thing in the world, it would be to be pretty when I cry._

_But thats off topic, isn't it? I'm always slow when I'm figuring things out, so this time, I want to be honest and get Yamato's honest answer too. The movie was inspiring, in a sense, though it left me with a slightly bitter after taste. It was as if it was inviting me to make my story better than the main character's, to take the opportunities I was given, to make my own. All the answers were waiting for me, I just needed to meet them head on._

Humming, she polished her bike. She made sure the wheels were fully inflated and there were no problems with it. She headed to the convenience store around the corner, enjoying the wind in her hair and the sun on her skin.  _Maybe when he comes back, I'll bake him a cake!_

Hikari could imagine it clearly. She'd pedal over to Yamato's apartment on her bright blue bike in a cute pink dress. There'd be a cake in the basket with  _welcome home~_ written on it. She'd say she 'forgot' to invite the others and they'd laugh and eat cake. He'd fill her in on the tour, the places and give her a trinket of some kind as he always did. She'd stutter and fail a bit, but eventually, she'd get out what she wanted to say. Even if the response wasn't positive, Yamato would be kind and friendly. If it was positive, he'd probably take her out. If not, he'd probably bake her a cake of her own.

_It's a win-win situation, right?_

. .

_It's been more than a week since I've seen Yamato. Daisuke sent me a message, saying Taichi said he got beat up and didn't look too good. I don't feel any better. I was in the wrong, undoubtedly so. I don't know why I reacted as I did, but I still can't bring myself to apologise. So what if Yamato is crushing on Hikari? Daisuke was too and I never beat him up, never even thought of it. I was never even angry with him._

_Of course I'm mad at Yamato. I think he's a threat. He likes her and has a legion of fangirls. Even if he doesn't end up with Hikari, the crazy fans could take a crack at her! …What am I thinking? This isn't some crazy anime. Hikari isn't some damsel. She gets sick occasionally and isn't a fighter, but she's helped save the world more than once, dealt with inner demons and more._

_Taichi agrees with me. He wants to protect his little sister. But to be honest, I think he's doing the same as me. I think he's jealous he's gonna lose the role as her only protector, that he won't be the one she confides in all the time. I can get that. After all, isn't that part of the reason why Yamato was so jealous of Taichi back in the Digital World? In the beginning, I appreciated his support. It showed me that I wasn't wrong. But I'm starting to think I was blinded and that its the blind leading the blind. We're the same, after all._

_I'm just making excuses. I don't want anyone else to be with her. Is that so wrong? I don't think so. But I can't stop anyone else from liking her. I can't stop Hikari from liking anyone other than me. I don't even know who she likes. Maybe she'd like me a little more if I didn't hover over her, if I didn't treat her like she'd break like glass. Or is that a good thing? I guess I'll never know if I don't ask._

_But should I bother? I've known Hikari for a long time. I don't know her better than herself, or Daisuke, or a bunch of other people. But I know her pretty well. She's not a liar. She's an honest person. If she liked me, she would have said so. It would have stopped Daisuke and I from bickering, which I know annoys a lot of people._

_And really, if I'm going to get this nasty over her… to my own friends, to my own brother… I don't think I can be trusted. I'm not a bad person. I'm not usually violent. But this was horrible, cruel. Yamato was honest and explained himself and I didn't listen. My mother didn't raise me like this and I have no valid reason for acting this way. If I ended up with Hikari, who's to say I wouldn't become one of those obnoxiously jealous and protective boyfriends who becomes violent when they see their partner with another man? Of course, if I ended up with Hikari, that could make me secure and love her even more and I'd never even think about 'threats'. Theres just no knowing, is there?_

_I don't want to give up on her. I don't want to, in a way, lose, to Yamato. But I don't want to hurt him again. I don't want to annoy her if she isn't interested. Daisuke has the right idea. It sucks, really. He backed out because he knew he doesn't have a chance, that she isn't interested in him. I can't really remember what he said either. Did he only say Yamato likes her, or that Hikari likes him back too?_

_Is this what it means to be a man? Perhaps not. Its just being a decent person. To respect her emotions and Yamato's. To listen to my friends and not shove them on the ground. I owe them both apologies. And I need to talk to Hikari. I need to tell her how I feel rather than just hinting. She isn't psychic, after all. I'll tell her how I feel and if she doesn't feel the same… well, it's better than ruining our friendship, right?_

_Sometimes being a teenager is the worst thing in the world._


	10. Returning

"So everything went well then?"

"Yeah!" Hikari couldn't help but smile. Perhaps she was biased, but Yamato was just so  _cute_  when he spoke about music. She let him ramble, filling her in on the tour as he made tea to go with the cake she'd made. She'd made sure she was the first to visit, and even if she hadn't been planning on telling the truth, it was still nice to be the 'first contact' in a sense.

Yamato was tired, obviously so, but it was the type of tired you get after working really hard, where the effort has paid off and you've achieved something special. Despite the tiredness and probable jet lag, he was happy to speak to her and be a good host. As always, he'd brought them all back something small - she'd gushed over her cute keychain set while he smiled softly in response. He didn't say anything, but she knew the character she'd received was one of a pair and the matching half was resting on his guitar case - the gift on its own was small and pretty worthless, but the pair made a couple. Maybe he had no idea of the creature's origins and had brought them as a sign of friendship, but until she found out otherwise, she was going to take it as positive sign.

The clock kept moving though the duo barely acknowledged it. Instead, Hikari listened to a sample of a new song, and Yamato showed her pictures over cake, and they watched a movie together. His apartment was smaller than hers, meaning the couch was too. She couldn't help but blush, thinking of the close contact, before shaking her head vigorously when Yamato asked if she was too warm.  _Damn it! Should have said yes. If he'd put on the air conditioner, I could have whined about being cold… Maybe I would have got a hug._

She may not have got a hug, but the afternoon was worth it. The words she'd wanted to say were still stuck in her throat, making her feel beyond annoyed with herself.  _I hope, even though I didn't get to say anything, he's starting to catch on. I hope he's noticing the smiles and the minor flirting. I hope I can beat the butterflies in my stomach and just say what I want. I hope he'll accept._

"Thanks for visitng, Hikari."  _Smiles like that should be illegal._  
"Not at all! I hope I didn't intrude! I'm sure you must be tired now."  
"Yeah, I think I'll go to bed early, or maybe take a nap!" Like a gentleman, he was opening the door for her as he was agreeing. She was chuckling, about to call him an old man when she saw who was outside.

"Taichi!"  
"Hey man, how have you been?"

She wasn't entirely sure why, but she had a bad feeling about this. "Yeah. Good. Tour went alright?"  _He sounds so… stiff, forced._ Noticing the look her brother gave her, she waved and said her goodbyes again before hurrying out.  _Fine! If he doesn't want me around, I'll go! But theres no way I'll do his chores anymore if he's going to be a jerk!_

. .

Yamato shut the door again as Taichi walked into the lounge. "Do you want a drink or anything?"

"Nah. I'm good." It was obvious to Yamato that something was seriously bugging the brunette.  _He couldn't have waited a day or two before he harasses me over something? I'm too tired for his shit right now._  Taichi sat on the couch, impatiently tapping the floor with his foot, trying to collect his thoughts. Shaking his head at the other teen, Yamato went and did the dishes.

"How long was Hikari here?"  
"Mm?" Taichi repeated the question, slightly annoyed. "Oh, three, four hours maybe?"  
"I see." The cold tone made his stomach drop.  _I swear to god if Sora told him…_

But apparently Taichi wasn't quite fully with it, still debating to voice his issues or not. So they discussed the weather, what was on at the movies and Taichi's noisy neighbour. Yamato gave a summary of the tour, if only to buy time, but he knew Taichi hadn't heard a word of what he'd said. Getting more than slightly ticked off, he sighed.

"If you came over here to say something, say it. I still need to finish unpacking and I have a million other things to do today."  
"You're right. I'm sorry I've been wasting your time." He stopped fidgeting and looked the blonde straight in the eyes. "So I've been talking to some people, and I've been acting a bit like a jerk to be honest."

Rolling his eyes, Yamato dryly responded, "How surprising."  
"I'm serious dude. I heard that it was Takeru who beat you up."  
"We're siblings. Its not like it's unheard of." Sitting straighter, he was far more defensive this time.  
"Apparently Daisuke told him the truth."  
"Truth?"  
"Sora told me. That you like Hikari, I mean."

Unlike when Hikari was here, Yamato could hear the clock. When the younger Yagami had been there, they were laughing too much, or they were too caught up in conversation to pay it any attention. But in the silence Taichi had brought on, each  _tick_  sounded more like a bell peal, ringing ominously in the apartment.

"What do you want me to say?"

This time, it was Taichi who sighed. He put his head in his hands and mumbled. "Honestly, man, I don't know. You have every right to go out with whoever you damn well please. I guess I'm shocked. Slightly betrayed-"

"Excuse you?"  _Betrayed? Are you kidding me!_  "Hikari is old enough to do as she pleases, she's single too. I haven't done anything, haven't even told her. If everyone had minded their own business, nobody would be any the wiser. But no, you're all noisy and you, Sora and Takeru seem to think you're some type of justice seekers or something!"

"Justice-"

"Shut the hell up Tai!" He was standing now, livid, chest heaving and fists clenched. "This entire situation is  _bullshit!_  I haven't done anything, but you're on my back, Sora ranted at me and I got into a fight with my brother! Over  _nothing_. There is nothing wrong or taboo about me liking someone. Takeru, in my opinion, doesn't even know where he stands with her, and treats her like she's something breakable and like she can't look after herself. Daisuke, at least, is persistent and tries to go out of his way to make her happy. And you and Sora? After what you put me through, why the hell should I listen to you? I bet you weren't thinking of my feelings, even though it would have been perfectly justified, so why should I bother to listen to your shit when you have  _nothing to get mad over?_ "

"She's my sister!"

"Thats all you got? No actual comeback? No argument? Just a dumb statement proving your the same as Takeru, thinking she's too frail to look after herself, that she has no idea what she's doing, showing you think she can't be trusted to make her decisions! I honestly thought I was a pathetic sibling, but you're  _so_ much worse."

Vaguely he wondered if he should just turn his apartment into a wrestling ring. Rolling around, the grappled each other, swearing and insulting at the same time. Yamato had no idea what Taichi wanted to achieve - Hikari was old enough to make her own choices, and you couldn't be too protective forever, as he'd found out with Takeru, back when they were in the Digital World.  _If anything, he's making it all about him. Does he think I'll have less time for him as a friend? Is he upset I didn't talk to him about it?_

Shouting about double standards, he threw the brunette off him. "Why do you think I didn't say anything? I didn't want all this to happen! I never wanted to hurt anyone!" All he could feel was anger. He remembered breaking up with Sora, and watching the two of them while everyone gave him pitiful glances. He could feel liquid around his eyes and had no idea if he'd prefer it if he was crying or if he was bleeding. "Why can't you just let me happy, damn it?!"

He didn't notice the sting on his jaw from Taichi's fist, didn't notice his own slamming into his supposed friend's gut. They both noticed however, when Hikari screamed at them to stop, frame shaking. Her tears were obvious. She was on the other side of the dining table and Yamato could see the hat and keychain she'd left there.

"What is  _wrong_  with you two? Aren't you supposed to be friends?"

Taichi picked himself up with a muffled apology for messing up the lounge. Grabbing Hikari's arm, he dragged her out. Still on the floor, Yamato could hear her protesting, telling Taichi she was furious, she was telling their parents,  _how could you do that to him?_  before the door slammed shut behind them. From where he lay, he could see she'd grabbed her hat but the keychain must've fallen out of her grip, and now lay on the floor. Sighing, he stared at the roof, knowing he was crying for certain this time.

His mind felt like it was spinning as he stared at the roof. Was he seriously in the wrong? Had he screwed up in a way he didn't know about? Or was everyone just that frail and he hadn't noticed? He wondered if it some type of cosmic joke was being played on him as his father walked in. "Seriously kid? You haven't even been back a day yet. I'll get you an icepack."

 _Looks like I can't get out of discussing it this time…_  Pulling himself up, Yamato staggered over to the bathroom and winced at his face. Washing off the worst of it, he tried to keep the cake he'd eaten earlier in his stomach.  _I wish life was a lot easier than it is._

. .

The walk (more of a stomp, if he were honest) home was quiet. Hikari had ranted at him before falling silent, kicking the back of his leg more than once. He didn't reply to her, agreeing that he deserved it. The rest of the night was spent in a tense silence, with their parents failing to get answers out of them. Hikari was already in bed when he decided to speak.

"I'm sorry."  
"You shouldn't be apologising to  _me_."  
"I'll apologise to Yamato too. I shouldn't have used forced on either of you. I should have thought about what I was going to say before I went over there."  
"What were you even fighting about?"  
"Nothing."  
"I'm not going to talk to you until you tell me."  
"It's really nothing. Nothing I have the right to be involved with anyway. I don't agree with it though."  
"And until you come to peace with it, you'll keep getting angry over it, right?"

Again, he didn't respond but he knew she was right.  _How am I supposed to be a good brother and a friend if I can even trust them when nothing is happening? Can I truly call myself either of those things?_ Vaguely he wondered if Takeru felt as sick as he did when he and Yamato fought. He wondered if this is what big brother's did, or if he was just a jerk, plain and simply spiteful. He wondered if Sora would regret telling him, if she already regretted knowing, regretted dating him when she could have someone who wasn't going to interfere in other people's business. He wondered if Hikari slept at all, because he was still up when dawn came around. Despite the night of thinking, he felt worse than he had to start with, felt like he'd been going around in circles with useless thoughts without getting an answers.


	11. Silence

"Shall we commence the emergency meeting?"  
"Emergency meeting?"  
"I prefer to call it "Project Yakari"!"  
"If this is about Yamato and Hikari-"

"Its about so much more than that Jyou!" Mimi slammed her hands down on the picnic table. "This is about us being friends of both Yamato and Hikari, and demanding answers to why some of us haven't been acting as such!" She wasn't subtle when she glared at Takeru and Taichi.

Sora glared back in return. "People should be allowed to have their own private business, Mimi."  
"And I agree whole heartedly, but mess with my friends, and I am not going to be happy."

"Look, I screwed up. More than once." All eyes turned to Tai. "I've told Yamato he's my friend, but made sure nobody could get near Hikari. I've treated him like a monster, and her like a damsel. I was wrong, am wrong, but I won't take back what I did. Regardless of it being wrong, I can't change the way I feel."

Mimi huffed. "Well, at least you know you aren't some type of saint." She looked to Takeru, who shuffled in his seat.  
"I wasn't wrong-"

"How dare you!" This time it was Miyako taking the reign, slamming down a fist, making Ken wince beside her. "Both you and Taichi overreacted by a  _long_  shot! You were both self entitled little brats, acting like you know the two of them so much better than everyone else. You're supposedly such good friends, good siblings, yet you didn't give a damn about how Hikari and Yamato were feeling! And seriously, beating him? Taichi, you're a  _university_  student! You're not in preschool anymore!" Taichi flinched and turned away, embarrassed. "You're no better either Takeru, preaching peace and all that bull when that was your first course of action. I'm  _so_  disgusted in the both of you. Yamato's crest is  _friendship_. He didn't do anything because he  _cares_  about both of you. Obviously thats a one way street, huh?"

"Miyako-"  
"Oh  _no_ , Ken, let her go on." Sora's glare was as icy as her tone. Taichi mumbled for her to be quiet but she ignored him. "I suppose you're a huge expert in love, huh, Miyako? I suppose you know how everyone here feels? Go and tell us, then, almighty expert." Jyou grimaced, feeling as though the tension and sarcasm could be cut with a knife.

"You're right. I'm no expert, but these people, even the ones who have been dumb as a doorknob, are my friends. I have a pretty good idea how they feel. Lemme spell it out for you." Taking a breath, she rushed out her ideas. "Takeru, afraid. Yamato's always done things for his baby brother. Now he wants to do something for himself? He wants the same thing Takeru wants? Takeru doesn't know how to deal with such a 'betrayal'. He needs to figure out why he's so angry at Yamato when Daisuke's wanted Hikari too. Taichi, worries he'll be abandoned as a big brother. Worried that Yamato will leave him as a friend, doesn't know how to act like a grown up. Hikari just wants everyone to get along, and get the guy she wants, whoever that may be. She wants  _you_ ," she looked to everyone in the group with a stern glance, "to trust her, not protect her from everyday life. Yamato wants the same, but he's not stupid enough to think everything will be sunshine and rainbows, which is why he didn't do anything. Good job on making him right, guys." Shame went over the two she'd snarled at when Daisuke piped up.

"I know that Takeru and Taichi did the wrong thing, and they should have handled things better, but were the really wrong in their feelings?"  
Miyako sat down with a smile. "No. Teenagers are dumb. Teenage boys tend to think less, leading them into dumber situations." Mimi snickered slightly while Koushirou rolled his eyes, but didn't deny it. "They'd be inhuman not to be jealous and worried. But I didn't talk about your part in this either, did I?" Daisuke gulped and shrunk down.  
"I didn't do anything, I swear!"

"But you did. Even though you were hurt in the process, you told Takeru the truth, to prevent him from being hurt, right? You tried to allow your friends to be happy, at the price of your own. You're not often smart or mature, but I'm really proud of you, ya know?" Mimi nodded enthusiastically, while Daisuke continued to shrink, though this time because he was embarrassed at the praise.

"Well, if I'm done being yelled at, I'm going." Takeru stood and left, not listening to Koushirou tell him they weren't  _trying_  to bring him down, but rather sort out a problem. Miyako didn't bother correcting him, but simply watched as Sora used the opportunity to drag Tai off, grumbling herself about the events.

. .

 _She loves me, she loves me not._ Petals flew away, taken by the breeze as he sat hunched over, ignoring the world around him. Eventually, the game changed.  _I love her, I love her not_.  _Do I really love Hikari? I mean, I do, obviously, but do I love her as a boyfriend should? Or do I love her as a friend, a team mate? Is she like a sibling to me, or do I just love the idea of needing to protect someone? Of course, there are many types of love. There is no rule saying you can only feel one type of love at once. But that doesn't answer anything._

So he sat, destroying flowers, thoughts running in circles. He heard a van promoting a local politician pass and then some children in the distance screaming happily. _Hikari's been a fixture in my life for a long time. But at the end of the day, this isn't a movie. She isn't the girl next door, the only girl I'll ever need. Yes, she's pretty and smart and knows me, but is that really all you need to be in love with someone? What about butterflies? Shouldn't I by writing her name combined with mine, be thinking of how to ask her out? Isn't love supposed to be obsessive? Then why am I so calm?_

Smiling bitterly, he think he knew the answer. It was one he'd thought of for a while, when he'd heard other people talking about dating Hikari. He didn't get jealous. He didn't find himself panicking, worrying that she'd choose another over him.  _Then why was Yamato different?_   _He was my last chance to fight for her, to convince myself I wanted to be with her. If I didn't put my foot down with him, everyone would think I didn't care. And I wasn't sure if I was ready to admit that._  Maybe he was right, maybe he was wrong. There were no definite answers for emotions, as everyone felt and experienced differently. But at least he had a start.

With a sigh, he flopped onto his back, staring at the blue sky.  _As much as Miyako's words stung, she was right. Yamato has always done everything for me. He's made sure I'm safe and happy. I'm amused and my dreams come true. He's never not supported me, whatever I was doing. He's human, with his own desires. I guess I never really thought about what he wants before. I never thought we'd have the same interests, being so different. But he wants the same girl I do. The same girl I've wanted for years. Can he support both his own dream and mine? Not without hurting one of us. So he decided to be the Daisuke, and accept he'd take the back road, to find a new path to make sure I was happy._

It was hot and the day was nice, but there was nobody around. Faintly, he could hear birds chirp, but in the relative silence, the sound that stood out was his breathing as he tried not to cry.

. .

"Do you think I was too rough on them?"  
"Maybe. I'm not them. I don't know what they're feeling. But sometimes, you can't be nice to people." Ken stopped himself and thought a moment. "A better way to say that is, that sometimes, there are different types of niceness, so you need to find the one that fits the situation."  
Miyako groaned. "So I was too rough!"

After everyone had slowly left, she had stayed, pondering her words and stupid foot in mouth disease. Mimi had stayed with her, but when Ken came back with just two drinks, she suddenly had somewhere to be. She'd complained, of course. "Mimi was supposed to help me get rid of my guilt!" Ken had smiled, saying he'd take her place.

He walked her home, and she was late for dinner. The sun had already set and she struggled to pick out any stars among the city lights. But it was nice, being this close to Ken. It was nice having him alone, and to herself. She waved him off, thanking him much more sweetly she did when they were in a group and she couldn't help but think, if she were in Takeru's shoes, what would she have done?

. .

_I'm sorry, y'know? I know that probably doesn't mean right. You were right. I was a jerk and I had no right. I'm scared, y'know? Hikari's smart - she knows a good catch when she sees one. And if a guy like me, whos so bad with words, can convince a smart girl like Sora to pick me over you, I'm scared at how quick you could win over my sister. I'm scared at how quick I wouldn't be needed. I'm scared you'd be more involved in her and forget about me._

_And I have absolutely no right to be. You'd never do that. Hikari would never do that. I won't interfere anymore. I won't ask for your forgiveness, because I know I don't deserve it. I want ask you to be my friend again, but I won't, because I don't deserve that either. But if you ever decide to move on, without forgiving or forgetting, I swear I'll never screw up again._

He waited a week for an answer, but his phone stayed silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the rush of chapters. Laziness on my part. I'm on hiatus for August, but I'll start updating properly once September comes. Stay well!


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